"Already am, always was, and I still have time to be"

2011 was an exciting year. A nuclear plantation leaked, few dictators were either couped or dead and economy went ballistic but for me 2011 was a year of wonder, travel, excitement, too much weddings and luckily only a few funeral.

Travel check list: Perth & Fremantle, Penang, Singapore, Vietnam (Saigon, Hue and Hoi An)

Notable performances: The Best of Andrew Lloyd Webber Musical Show at Burswood, WA; Zee Avi concert at Hu'u, Bali; ASEAN - Russian Symphony Orchestra of Young Musician at Bali Theater; Amiina performs live soundtrack to Lotte Reiniger's shadow puppet animation at National Museum of Singapore

Rather special museum experience: "van Gogh Alive" at Art Science Museum Singapore. Picture yourself walking or sitting with a moving blown up high resolution image of van Gogh masterpieces while Debussy was being played as the background music; a tour inside The Blue Mansion, Penang

Well, being: 30 days challenge hot yoga class successfully done and I now managed to do the boat pulling pose for 30 seconds straight.

Family milestone: two cousins got married (which means this year the spotlight will be directed to yours truly, ahem) and one of my best friend also said 'I do' in the most spectacular fashion: 3 days Indian wedding feast

Notable films: Micmacs (French), Heartbreaker (French), The Cove (USA), An Education (UK), 40 Years of Silence (USA), Midnight in Paris (USA), Hiphopdiningrat (Indonesian), Star Trek (USA), Dogma (USA), Jane Eyre (U.K), Easy A (USA), All About My Mother (Spain)

Notable books: Holy Cow (Sarah Macdonald), Cafe Scheherazade (Arnold Zable), Smile When You’re Lying: Confession of A Rogue Traveler (Chuck Thompson), The Best of Everything (Rona Jaffe), The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver), American Gods (Neil Gaiman), One Day (Mike Nicholls), The Book Thief (Markus Suzak), Beauty and Sadness (Yasunari Kawabata), A Storm of Swords (George R.R. Martin), How I Live Now (Meg Rosoff), Babette’s Feast (Isak Dinesen), White Rose, Red Rose (Eileen Chang)

Favorite new found activities: hot yoga, monthly book swap, morning yoga by the sea, self taught myself SEO optimization, letting my inner Nigella loose in the kitchen, ikebana, Sanur Film Nights screening on a bamboo house, bush walking, vineyard tour, ANZAC Day dawn ceremony, tie dye making

Notable food/drink: Asam Laksa at Guerney Hawker Center, Penang; Beef Pho at a random eatery on Saigon; Vietnamese Fresh Spring Roll (so much so I now able to roll it myself); Nasi Kandar and Banana Leaf Indian food at Penang; BOH Teh Tarik (less sweet); Old Town Cafe Ice Black Coffee; Lie Yen’s Salty Chicken and Pork at Jakarta

Notable series: Downton Abbey, Hot in Cleveland, The Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Modern Family

Decadent experience of the year: one night stay at Marina Bay Sands, Singapore

I hope 2012 will grant me more experiences, things to explore and learn, places to go and interesting people to meet. May 2012 will keep my beloved close, healthy and safe despite the dire Mayan prediction. Most of all I hope 2012 will be a year for me to grow.

“…What made the beauty of the moon? / And the beauty of the sea? / Did that beauty make you? / Did that beauty make me? / Will that make me something? / Will I be something? / Am I something?

And the answer comes: Already am, always was, and I still have time to be.”

(poem "Here I Am" by Anis Mojgani)

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Sous Le Ciel de Paris

It is very rare for me to find a character in a film that I could relate to. It perhaps has to do with the films that I watch anyway. I don’t think anybody could find it easy to relate with Princess Leia or Sookie Stackhouse or Hermione Granger fighting off Death Eaters with Petrificus Totalus. I’ve seen a lot of fantasy, comic based blockbusters lately and not much of real drama. Therefore I decided to watch An Education the other day. I’ve been meaning to see it since last year but I kept putting it off, saving the best for last sort of thing.

I’m so charmed by the film I’m now blogging about it. For you who haven’t seen it (shame on you!), the film is about Jenny, a charming and intelligent teenager on the late 60s London, who was bored to death by her school and strict parents. In an eventful rainy encounter, she met a charming older guy played by Peter Sarsgaard, who then managed to seduced her and her whole family with his wit, glamour and worldliness. Who the hell in the world doesn’t want to to picked up on the street by a Peter Sarsgaard anyway? I don’t blame her at all.

I’d like to think Jenny is every women. Aren’t we all at one point in our life must have dreamed about being seduced by a charming older guy who takes you to expensive restaurants, concert even Paris and woo you with flowers and gifts? The fact that this film is based on true story and a memoir by Lynn Barber made this even more incredible and heart breaking all at once. I’m blushing like a school girl when Peter seduced Jenny and grimaced upon recognizing myself on Jenny’s remarks about ‘going to Paris, wear blacks, smoke cigarette in un cafe’. She’s a Francophile much like moi.

There’s one scene where Jenny lying on the floor, singing and humming to Juliette Greco’s Sous Le Ciel de Paris playing on the portable gramophone. I was She. I was, not many years ago, that girl who always dream to get away and be magically transported. I am still that girl who can’t wait to grow up, live the world and be a glamorous vixen who smokes and putting on red lipstick. Reading Fitzgerald and too much Jazz ruined me for life, I’m afraid.

I don’t know if this entry should be tagged under ‘film’ or ‘personal rubbish’. Maybe I should just put it under ‘bric-a-brac’ to suit the French mood.

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Bad Romance and Scarlett O’Hara’s Wisdom

I haven’t blogged for a while. Or ever. I’ve been so lazy all I did was putting another blogger’s post (with source stated, of course) just for the sake of posting. This blog named Sapi Malas not for nothing after all. 2010 has been quite a ride. Up and down the merry-go-round vertical tower of terrror like that scene in Zombieland, minus the zombie.

Since 2008 when I had two beloved leaving me for Hereafter, I’d like to think my life mirrorred Scarlett O’Hara post-Civil War. Ok, I didn’t have to dig my garden to find a piece of dried carrot (or kill a scoundrel) but now I do get why Scarlett became such a manipulative bitch and fierce business woman. Both of us need a security. Money, family, social standing. I’ve spent three years now doing business. Playing adult, trying to be slightly manipulative. Experienced my first global economy crash. I didn’t pass with flying color but I managed to keep the company floating, family fed and bills paid. Gone were the days when Scarlett I wore light green dress, battling my eyelashes and think of nothing except Ashley boys.

Except now, more than ever, I seriously need a Rhett Butler. With moustache or without, I need a big, tall, dark, worldly, humorous and kind guy who will envelopes me with love and said things like “You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.” Aren’t we all? Despite the popular belief, made even more popular by Julia Roberts who got hit by a dashing Javier Bardem in the middle of nowhere in Ubud, Bali is not the perfect place to fall in love. I think it is the perfect place to be in love or have a mind blowing “From Here to Eternity” moments by the beach, but that’s it. For you who magically found love in Bali, you can stop reading now because this post is just a dark, twisted and cynical (albeit true) rambling of a depressive single near Valentine’s Day. For you who doesn’t and have no date for the upcoming Bloody Valentine, do continue reading.

Bali is being promoted as The Ultimate Honey Moon Destination. I went all the way to Chengdu, a nice city in Sichuan Province, China and told a teenage receptionist at a hostel that I’m from Bali. Her immediate gush is: Oh, I want to go there for honeymoon! (to which I just cringed). Grown up in Bali, I’ve seen love in all shapes and reasons. Newlyweds holding hands even when they shopped or eat, holiday flings that started in a foam party fuelled by 10k Bintang beers, Opa and Oma walking with their strollers and Birkenstocks by the beach, desperately lonely older gay man riding a scooter with a dark handsome youth, tanned and young and lovely girls meets a thick belly and even thicker wallet guys one night at a bar. Occassionally, if I’m lucky I witness a devastating love like the one I saw a few weeks ago at the airport when two lovers didn’t want to let go. Do I get bitter by witnessing all those “ loves”? Perhaps.

To be honest, Bali is all about sperm released. Some found their pre-destined place and nine months later, a baby made in Bali will be born. Some are just being spent and dumped. Ask the next sweet couple you met on the street where did they fall in love. Eight out of ten it won’t be Bali.

I’ve kissed some frogs. None of them turns out to be a Prince. I’ve given up those Disney crafted illusions and put it in a box named ‘childhood’. The frogs that I’ve been kissed are mostly commitment phobic or only interested on what I wear behind my fabulous flowery dress instead of inside me or simply a nice guy at a wrong time and wrong place. Why is it so difficult this whole dating things? Seriously. I’m easy. Just romance me, make me laugh and I’m yours.

-------pause------

---------gulping down chai tea---------

Sorry. I sounded desperate in that last sentence, aren’t I? Well, I do. I need my freakin’ Rhett Right Now. I saw a French movie few years back. Russian Dolls was the name. In the last part, the narrator said something that got me thinking. It went something like this: “ Do you know Russian dolls? At first there’s only one big doll then you opened the lid and inside you’ll find another doll, then another doll then another doll. Just right at the moment you got tired of it, you’ll find the one and last small doll that has no lids. That’s it. That’s the one for you”.

Which means that tonight I’ll dress up and go out. I’ll order some drinks and have a swell good time.

Afterall, tomorrow is another day.

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Recent Things

+ Recent treasures acquisition: John Irving’s “A Prayer for Owen Meany” and “Until I Find You”, Laura Restrepo’s “The Dark Bride” and Amitav Ghosh’s “Sea of Poppies”. Red kitten heels. Plane tickets to Penang.

+ Recently acquired favorite activities: bikram yoga.

+ Recent virtual obsession: tumblr blogs and twitter (still).

+ Magazine crush: Frankie. Etsy meets life reaffirming articles.

+ Online shop wish list: iwearup.com

+ Political concern: the rise of radically violent group and the unfair conviction for Ariel Peterporn

+ Miss them like crazy: a proper cinema, giant popcorn (half butter, half caramel), bookshop shopping, concert by seriously talented musician, Nasi Gila, flea market, my preggers BFF in Bandung, late night phone calls, cigarette, staying up late doing nothing, Godiva chocolate, snorkeling (damn this rainy season), manga, heavy make out session, crossing the street with my Dad holding my hand, Monopoly, hot stone massage, museum, ZARA sale, my gay German brothers, flipping the Lonely Planet guide while being lost in translation, croissant for breakfast, Nasi Warung Pojok, Kompas’s Sunday crosswords, Erdinger Weissbier, my cousin The Octopussy, Green Tea Frappuccino, Terang Bulan Tipis Ekstra Keju, Die Hard marathon night, Winona Ryder, painting, blueberry scones, Truth or Dare with Cupuz, hot steamy pao on the street in China, ITC Mangga Dua.

+ Recent family discovery: apparently my Auntie has been hiding a secret talent, she can cook and she still amazed when she perfectly able to create a yummy fettuccine carbonara and butter prawn.

+ 2011 will be: Four Weddings and (hopefully) only One Funeral. Lots of new born babies. Lots of traveling (Perth, Penang, Singapore, Vietnam).

+ Current Muses: Kelly Wearstler. Maggie Gylenhaal. Auntie Mei Lan. Nicole Richie. Danielle LaPorte. Caro Emerald.

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