The Merit of Indonesian Police Officer

Recently, I received an e-mail from a friend with fast cable access. He told me about this interesting video from YouTube. I certainly feel very ashamed. Not of my country or of those fat bastards but damn, why I didn’t think of that?!

The video is about two Canadian guys in Bali. They rode a rented motorcycle (one of the most convenient ride and most targeted by police, especially if the riders has blonde hair and pasty skin which screams ‘easy prey’ ). Suddenly, a police officer (nicknamed ‘Pak De’ by the youth) stopped them and asked for their driving license. Similar to millions other Indonesian who also had received this treatment, he gave them option. They can pay their fine in the court or here, for mere 50,000 rupiahs (around five bucks in local currency). They decided to take the easy way and pay, with a bonus of warm Indonesian-corrupted-police smirk.

I’ve been driving on and off for the past four years. I received my first ticket when I was seventeen. Since then and especially when I was in Jakarta, me and my friends had paid myriad faceless fat bastard. It seems that next to being a tourist, being a woman also screams ‘fine me’. A friend of mine even so good at it (read: being caught for ambiguous reason) that when a police officer stopped her car, she calmly take 50,000 rupiahs and shove it to the fat bastard’s hand and leave.

It is not something to be proud of since it also encourage more bribery and corruption in this already corrupt country but coming to the court also proved to be trivial as well as expensive. In the end, those YouTube police officer was arrested and well, perhaps that is the way to claim justice. In fact, that is the only way given that anyone can buy justice. For everything wrong in this country, the only institution capable of suing the wrong-doers is press (my father’s favorite threat for insurance or other evils, in fact, is “I’ll bring this to the paper” for which usually followed by, “Oh, no sir. Please!”). And YouTube, of course.

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It Must Be Hard Being An American...

I feel sorry for the people of United States of America. No, I'm not talking about obesity or Bush. It must be quite an embarrassment to admit you are an American nowdays, especially if you are here in Bali and attending the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC). It is perhaps slightly better to admit that you are an Iranian or even Iraqi. At least you are not a citizen of the culprit nation who sabotaging the world from the fast way out of this already-here-and-kicking-global warming. For full report click here.

I know Americans (excluding those named Bushes) have their heart in the right place and yet the representative they chose (twice!) is the biggest mistake ever made for America and for the world. It is quite strange for me, a person watching from outside, of how when Clinton was caught doing (or someone did something to him) improper conduct with his intern, he was impeached. Mean while, there is his reigning successor who decided to thwart a dictator, stubbornly let his soldiers butchered for unclear reason and reject an agreement to save earth from further destruction (which is inflicted largely by the very country he reigned) and the people did nothing?! No impeachment whatsoever. Why? Anyone care to explain this to me?

Anyway after taking a deep breath, I decided that it is not really Uncle Sam who speak in the conference but its evil counterpart. The good one gave a sharp speech full of emotion on how his country “…the United States is principally responsible for obstructing progress here in Bali”. It will be a totally different history if he is the President now. But then perhaps he wouldn’t win the Nobel and becoming The Green Hero. To think that a wrong decision made in States could affect the world, each people in United States must be very careful in the coming election. Whoever will be the next President of United States of America will have the future of not just America, but this world, upon his (or her) hand.

It won’t be the unessential problems of what skin color or who was supported by Oprah anymore. It means a lot to this earth and another nations. America’s choice would influence everyone living in this planet. So, it is true afterall. All those movies where American astronauts (like Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis) were sent to save the earth from armageddon or a Legend to find the cure to human mutation. In the end, it comes to citizens of United States to do the right thing for earth and all the inhabitants, threaten not by alien or virus, but by mankind. God Bless America!

Postcript: USA finally agree to join the consensus of Bali Roadmap after a heavy pressures from the rest of delegates and the sob of Yvo de Boer, the executive secretary of UNFCCC. A baby step toward what everyone hope as a better living earth.

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Farewell Mas Basuki Wes Ewes Ewes...

Indonesia mourn the loss of one of the funniest guy on TV, Basuki. His thick Javanese accent and naturally funny face shall be miss, together with the days where the whole family could watch a TV together after dinner, laughing the vernacular honest TV show about Betawi family in the midst of modernity . It was The Brady Bunch era of Indonesia’s TV history.

Mas Basuki was a part of my early childhood memory. How I enjoyed watching “Si Doel” back then. A quick dinner and all six of us (included the house maid and dogs) hurriedly positioned ourselves in front of the TV, just in time for the opening song (“Anakkkkk Betawaiiiii….ketinggalan zamannnnn”). It always cracks us up when Mas Karyo (Basuki in a role of struggling Javanese door-to-door salesman who rent a room in Betawi family’s compound and have a on-off relationship with the landlord’s daughter) has a verbal fight over a fence with Mandra (the thick Betawi accented uncle of Doel who works as blue oplet driver). His mimic, body language and honest words gets through us everytime. I really want a re-run of that show, definitely the best long-running series Indonesia ever had or ever will have.

Terima kasih banyak Mas Basuki. Wes ewes ewes…you’ll be missed!

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Jiffest 2007 & The Movies Within

I know I’ve been complaining continuously about Jakarta. I (and its millions of inhabitatans) keep on ranting of bus-corrupting government, daily traffic (more of this rage in previous blog), endless development of new megamall and apartement, U.S.A and U.K franchise attack with its end-of-the-year-sale, surging flood which recently cut the airport route in addition to tons of other problems happening in this all-in capital of Indonesia.

But like another big cities, living in Jakarta also comes with privileges. If you happen to have an abundance of rupiah, that is. The grandiose malls easily beat Singapore or Malaysia (ehem). You can buy everything from the highest or the cheapest price possible in Jakarta (try shopping in Plaza Indonesia and Mangga Dua then you’ll see what I mean). That new It-Bag from Chloe. Check. The new fake Louis Vuitton bag. Check. Anything. It is a heaven for all kind of shopper. I haven’ t mention the food, have I? It is worth its own blog. Any kind of food in Indonesia and the world are there in Jakarta. That is why I keep coming back and more people still coming, despite the risk and demanding life. Jakarta can tease and kiss, but it also can kick and kill you. It’s a femme fatale every guy want to make love and conquer.

One thing I surely enjoy about Jakarta is the festival. There are Java Jazz Festival, JakJazz Festival, the new Screamfest, Jakarta Biennale, Art Summit and finally, Jiffest. Jiffest stands for Jakarta International Film Festival and like last year, this time is a lot of fun.

Between taking care of my recovering Aunt and finishing uni’s administration, I managed to slip in 5 amazing movies. I won’t write the review here since I believe I’m not a good reviewer and there are people out there who are paid to do just that. But in case you are wondering, below are those 5 movies with my comment and rating.

*Across the Universe

Starring: Evan Rachel Wood, Jim Sturgess, Joe Anderson, Dana Fuchs, Martin Luther McCoy and dazzling cameo appearances
Rating: I am in love!

This is made for all Beatles fans out there. From the first scene where a solitary dreamer sings “Girl”, I knew I was in for a treat. I keep smiling and sometimes weeping right from the start. The setting is 1960’s with the hippies flower power and Vietnam War. At first we were introduced to few major character. There is Jude (you know from which song), a hopeful Liverpool lad who want to travel to find his Dad. There is Lucy, a WASP high school beauty who lost her beau to Vietnam War. Then there is Max, a Priceton rebel-without-a-cause whom later with Jude, ran away to New York City.

There they met a lot of interesting characters from the hot singer, Sadie to Dr. Flower Power (Bono in thick moustache and groovy attire! I came close to ask my friend to slap me hard). All of the characters are singing with their voices, worthy of starry credits. The juxtaposition of images, objects and details goes wonderfully with the songs which beautifully arranged and performed.Perfect. I was practically singing when Max sings “Hey Jude” for Jude. I fell in love with this one, if it is possible to fell in love with a movie and can’t help but tell the world about it. Click here for the full qualified review.

*4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days
Starring: Annamaria Marinca, Laura Vasiliu, Vlad Ivanov
Rating: I’m sure won’t watch this again but WOW!
I’ve heard about this abortion movie from a friend who told me it was winning awards in every festival. So I watched it for a gripping 113 minutes. What strikes me as peculiar is how the scenes were taken. Odd angle, still scenes with minimal dialogue and voices. One can’t help but be absorbed into the life of Otilia and Gabita because it feels so real. Raw real. Otilia is helping her friend Gabita to get an abortion which was illegal in Romania back then. They rented a hotel room and hire a Dr. Bebe to get rid of the unwanted fetus. Even though its Gabita who will abort her baby and therefore in the pitiable position, all I feel for her character is rage. Rage for her weakness, her foolishness, which allows Dr. Bebe to gain benefit of their situation. It’s Otilia who must execute the dirty works.

This movie will definitely shocks you in the middle and in the end, where it was ended abruptly without a clear conclusion. My friend found the ending very annoying. But the way I see it, it’s the director’s way to let audience decide what should happen to the characters. Nevertheless, I left the theater feeling heavy. This is sure not an easy movie to digest.

*2 Days in Paris
Starring: Julie Delphy, Adam Goldberg
Rating: My hands were busy writing down the witty dialogues
After Romanian abortion movie, I was comforted to find that 2 Days in Paris coming next. Wrong. It is an easy movie but it still keep your brain buzzing. The story essentially about an American-French couple, Jack and Marion. From their blitzing frenzy trip in Venice to go back to New York, they decided to spend 2 days in Paris as a stop over. Jack is a paranoid interior designer whose allergic to all kind of things (from terrorism to leaking pipe) while Marion is a neurotic photographer whose a natural born flirt. I forgot my popcorn when I watched the scene where Jack mislead a bunch of his Da-Vinci-Code-cracker-Bush-voter countrymen and when he admitted it to Marion, she only compliment and kiss him. Big Haha #1.

From that scene, Jack and Marion ‘s story just getting funnier. Her obnoxious French speaking parents add to the joyful characters. Her papa, quizzed Jack over a rabbit stew of French writers (Big Haha #2) while her drama queen mama compliment his ‘nice willy’ when “accidentally” see Jack’s nude picture with baloon (Big Haha #3). Meet the Parents, indeed. For the next 2 days, Jack would witness Marion getting flirty and flirtied by her ex-es. France and America in comic collision and witty dialogues. I feel like re-watching “Before Sunrise” and “Before Sunset” for the hundredth times. Bravo, Madame Delphy!

*The Fall
Starring: Lee Pace, Cantica Untaru
Rating: Keep ‘wow-ing’ me until the end
The story is about Roy Walker, a stuntman who had an accident and have to stay in hospital. There she met a little girl, Alexandria, whom he lured by stories so she would steal morphines for him. The amazing thing about this movie is where it was shot or to be exact, in how many places it was shot (26!). The scenes sweep audiences from Fiji to Italy, showed Swirling Dance in Turkey to Kecak Dance in Bali. It took my breath away. Every mouths in that theater were gaping in wonder. For the full listing of where they shot the movie, click here. Alexandria, naturally performed by Cantica Untaru, stole the movie and my heart away with her smile and act. Hell, what act? She doesn’t act. Dakota, be warn.

*Vitus
Starring: Bruno Ganz, Theo Gheorghiu, Julika Jenkins
Rating: Inspiring me to get a piano lesson. Again.
The story is about Vitus, a genius little boy and his family. There is his inventor papa, obsessed loving mama and witty eccentric grossvater. It shows Vitus pyschological development from a little boy to a rebellious teenager who fell in love with seven years older ex-Vitus babysitter. He is witty and delivers cheeky remarks such as asking his teacher “if a teacher is smarter than the student, then why James Watt’s teacher didn’t invent the machine?” .Later when circumstances makes him fed up being genius, he was forced him to do a drastic measure like flew down from his balcony and ended up being average kid with IQ 120. After being a moustached evil dictator, Bruno Ganz delivers another superb performance in Vitus’s airplane-simulation-addicted grossvater who teach him to find his own way in life and who he wants to become. I really enjoyed this one. Perfect with pop corn and Diet Coke.

So, ladies and gentlemen, that’s a wrapped version of my Jiffest 2007. Now I am back in Bali, still dreaming of those movies and mourning each passing day of the sad cinematic tragedy shown in local theaters. Perhaps I should invent Bali’s own Jiffest? Like perhaps Biffest? Hmm…

I miss Jakarta. Now.

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Jakarta Madding Traffic

What we see and what we hear is always a different thing. I have heard about the condition of my critically ill Aunt via phone all the past few weeks and then I came to take care of her last Friday. Neither image nor phone calls could prepare me that day, seeing her for the first time in months. I barely landed to this awful traffic-ridden city formerly named Batavia when my other Aunt called me and said the devastating news. “Come here as quickly as you can. She is unconscious”.

I couldn’t choose a better day to arrive. Jakarta means traffic jam for the last twenty years or so. But that Friday, the definition of traffic for me changed forever. I’ve lived in Jakarta for the past four years and surely had experienced the infamous loco traffic in this capital. Eight hours trapped inside a car just because of rain falling. Four hours inside a car just because of a minor accident in freeway. Stupid, silly reason and the whole town turn to a traffic hellhole. The only emotion I felt when stuck in a car until my butt gradually lifeless was boredom and annoyed. That Friday it was worse. I felt helpless. What if I don’t see my Aunt for the last time just because of this fucking Busway project-done-by corrupted-megalomaniac-governor? The whole city went mad. Every people just want to curl up and die inside their house. Two hours working trip becomes four. Sick people could die on their way into hospital if everyday would be like this. It doesn’t make any sense.

The government has a visualization of traffic-free Jakarta where most of the people willing to ride reliable public transport (christened "busway". Such a wrong use of English words). Pay attention to the bold words because it won't happen in Jakarta. It would only happen in Jakarta Utopia. Traffic-free? Forget it when the rich keep buying new cars. Willingness to ride public transport? Not going to happen when the middle and have class has this mind-set of "public transport just for the poor" and Jakarta is as hot as hell. Reliable public transport? Let's see...no. Won't do as long as the bus keep arriving 20 minutes late.

Luckily, I made it on time and my Aunt started to get better. Her face was so pale and yet still managed to gifted me her sweet precious smile. From then on, I spent every night beside her in the clinic. How could I say no to a person whose temperature reach almost 40 degrees and yet still managed to say to her brother (he is having a heart problem) to not lifting her since he should be careful with his back. Who would not scorn this madding traffic jam and “I-would-re-evaluate-busway-route” governor? Human spend almost a quarter of their life to sleep but it is not the case in Jakarta. Homo Jakartanesis spend quarter of our life on the road, stuck in a traffic we can’t get out. To close this personal rubbish, I would like to make a statement:

Damn the former and current governor to the deepest hell!

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Malaysia: Is it "Truly Asia"?

I am not sure this piece of insignificant news reach “western world” (whatever it mean nowdays) and beyond, since I almost sure the things that interest CNN or Fox is either news about the break of avian flu in Indonesia or volcano eruption. I doubt they would pay attention to this tense situation which doesn’t involve Britney Spears custody battle with ex-hubbie. The hot news, ladies and gentlemen, is about Malaysia, “Truly Asia” thieving Indonesian culture piece by piece.

Indonesia and Malaysia relationship in present day can be describe as ‘warm’ as relationship between George W. and Ahmadinejad. One might wonder why. Shouldn’t two countries with similar culture, heritage and even shares the same island should live in harmony? We should but we don’t. Like two blonde cheerleaders in high school with the same ambition of becoming home coming queen, we throw to each other apprehensive glance over thick blanket of smoke in Borneo. Of course we conceal it very well beneath the doctrine of decent manner, one trait we share in common.

When Malaysia air their famous tourism promotion on TV all over this earth and boldly illustrate a strong statement as the “Truly Asia”, I just stood in awe and even half-admiring the beautiful beach of Langkawi while thinking, “How I wish Indonesia’s Tourism Board has enough money to create such a inviting ad”. However I was a bit displease with “Truly Asia” tagline. So the other country is not really Asia? It seemed Malaysia challenge the rest of South East Asia to stand up.

Indonesia just sit idly and don’t do anything to answer that challenge. Sending cultural missionary to Europe to lured more tourist to come is not working (Tourism Board should have apprehended it by now) and raising people spirit by writing a fake-positive headline (“Tourism Started to Grow in Bali”) on newspaper is gibberish. Indonesia must make a move.

They don’t protect our workers and give them their rights (more about the tragic life of exploited female workers in here).They dishonored our sport referee. We still sit down in silence. Malaysia claimed our batik right, our food (tempe, kind of soy product), Jepara carving and God knows what. Still, the government did nothing. Then, one news materialized. Malaysia shows their recent tourism ad, using jingle taken from Indonesian folk song! Boom. And the hell break loose.

I went mad after I saw it for the first time on TV (click here to see the infamous ad). I sang it for hundred of times in elementary school, it was my piece de resistance song during vocal lesson, for God’s sake! This is not just about abused worker anymore but a pride of a nation. This time it means war, cous. I can’t believe their nerves! The folk song called “Rasa Sayange” and came from Maluku or so I thought. Malaysian Tourism Minister, Adnan Tengku Mansor claimed the song belongs to Malay archipelago while Maluku Governor insists it is Indonesian folk song. Later a record of that song made in Lokananta, Solo, unquestionably Indonesia, from the year 1958 was found.

However this problem only confirm my belief that Indonesia is one of the culturally richest country in this universe. Our main problem is that we are too widely spread to realize that. Oh and we should just exterminate Tourism Board since obviously all they do was create a make-belief field study to Paris where their wives bought Hermes bag and tons of perfume in Champs de Elysee. What we should do is create an independent board consist of diversely creative people in all field of profession (design, economy, public relation, hotelier, etc) and together create a new image of Indonesia. Definitely not the lame and ambiguous “Ultimate in Diversity” tagline. Eww.

We can do better than just become “Truly Asia”. We are Asia and we don’t have to steal another country’s culture to ascertain our richly unique identity. We can leave that job to Malaysia.

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Understanding Indonesian Horror Movies

Movies in certain Tangerang theater as per October 26, 2007:
-Get Married (Indonesian movie about a girl obsessed of getting married)
-Bobby (as in movie by Emilio Estevez about the murder of Robert Kennedy)
-Flawless (Demi Moore movie)
-Pocong 3 (tied with white cloth living corpse said to avenge sinners and whomever got a piece of its cloth would be rich and powerful. Duh!)
-Kuntilanak 2 (similar with Pontianak in Malaysian urban legend, Kuntilanak was a messy black hair cut, white cloth, could fly and pop in everywhere to avenge the world of her personal injustice of aborted baby and monstrous boyfriend who forced her and made her died)
-Legenda Sundel Bolong (I think Sundel Bolong is Kuntilanak’s sister or at least, cousin since they share similar fate)
-Suster N (post-colonial urban legend in Jakarta who believed that once there was a Dutch nurse ghost who cannot walk since her legs were broken and so she has to drag her feet with her hands and haunted hospital ward or ngesot)

The last four are horror movies. The last four always sold-out and full with screaming teenager and adult alike. The last four only some of the prove needed that Indonesian movie industry has, indeed, rising in numbers if not in quality. I don’t know if I should be overjoyed or scared with the attack of those supernatural evil spirit into my life. As a barely Indonesian nationalist who celebrates nationalism only in Independence Day, I am swollen with pride when I see Indonesian movies beat the numbers of Hollywood blockbuster in theater or made it into Malaysian or Singaporean theater. It is, afterall, demonstrate the neighbor-stealing-folk music country that Indonesia doesn’t only know the way to breed terrorist and corrupting fund aid, but also skillfull in making movies.

But I do feel scared. Not just by the daily nightmare of Kuntilanak visit into my boudoir, but what does it saying about us as Indonesian when most of the movies produced are horror movies? I am never a big fan of horror movie since I never understand what is the joy of watching a movie that frighten and haunted you when you are alone at home. Is it not enough that our life is already full of nightmare? Buddhist monks getting killed by Burmese military force, glaciers and ices in Alaska melting down and polar beer died of too much swimming. Call me a hen (I am female) but I don’t care. I am peace loving and I love having my dream free from hopping white pocong or sundel bolong with hollow tummy.

However I found this recent Asian movie industry frenzy of making more and more horror movies quite interesting. South East Asian countries share similar legend and folk stories and so it is not surprising if we love each other evil spirits (eww). What is astonishing is for countries with superstitious people who actually believe in those evil spirits is the paradoxical reality of how they also crave for more. I use ‘they’ because I definitely not a horror fan so I am out of the object study here. Isn’t that weird? So they are scared but they also love to be scared.

Case study #1: 23 years old female, Jabontor (Jawa-Ambon-Toraja) heritage, close friend
-Never miss a single horror movie in theater but the first to ask her friends to sleep over when her flat is empty and she would be ‘flat alone’

Case study #2: 21 years old male, Chinese-Balinese heritage, brother
-Always divert his gaze from the rear mirror and speed up until 120 km/hr when driving alone at night

And they still watching horror movies. Humph.

When I tracked down the rising of Asian horror movie industry, I traced my memory back when I was a small kid of 7 or 8 years old and watching movies without parental guide each afternoon after my siesta. TV station shows Hong Kong movies with hopping vampires dressed in classic court attire who would freeze when the priest put a caligraphed post-it on their foreheads. I squealed in delight. It was not as frightening as the Grande Dame of Kuntilanak and Nyi Roro Kidul role, Susanna.

Asian need its own horror movies that is not the Count Dracula, Frankenstein, Freddy Kruger or psycho murderer in shower. It doesn’t scare us (from a hen who hate horror movies, it is quite a strong statement) since we know Count Dracula wouldn’t survive in tropical climate, Frankenstein would never be in Bali since we burned the death in lavish ceremony, Freddy Krueger would not exist in city named Denpasar who doesn’t even know who he is when he pops up in our dream and that psycho would never get in to our bathroom since any respectable Indonesian always lock the door while bathing.

We have different memory, folk legend and story. Therefore we created our own creature and evil being based on those legend and culture. Below you will find Best Actor Nominee for “The Most Popular Creature in Horror Movies” presented by Julie Estelle and Susanna, the imitator of Real Thing. In random order, they are…
-Kuntilanak (Kuntilanak, Kuntilanak 2, Terowongan Casablanca)
-Anonymous black long haired woman in long dress and pale face (Ju-On, Ringu, The Eye, Shutter, The Wig, Bangku Kosong, Rumah Pondok Indah, Angker Batu and plenty more for this short blog)
-Pocong (Pocong 1, Pocong 2, Pocong 3 and hundreds of cameo appearances)
-Suster Ngesot (Suster Ngesot, Suster N, Panggil Nama Saya Tiga Kali)

The winner goes to…
KUNTILANAK!

The lady rose up slowly and nod her head in stacatto motion. She dragged her white silk gown gracefully and suddenly…SHE FLIES TO THE STAGE. Oh my, that is one way to enter. After shaking hands with Julie and Susanna who still trembling with either fear or admiration of meeting their source of inspiration, Kuntilanak is giving a speech. Below is the transcript (in Mother Language):

“Sodara-sodara sekalian, saya ingin mengucapkan banyak terima kasih atas penghargaan ini. Ternyata apa yang saya tidak dapatkan pada kehidupan singkat dan tragis dulu, saya dapatkan pada kehidupan ini. Terima kasih saya ucapkan kepada para produser, sutradara dan artis yang mengorbitkan dan menceritakan kisah saya dalam berbagai versi. Lepas dari benar atau tidaknya serta baik buruknya akting pemainnya, saya merasa bangga telah menjadi ikon perfilman Indonesia di samping Bang Benjamin atau Warkop. Sungguh suatu kebanggaan. Kemudian terima kasih sedalam-dalamnya kepada para fans Kunti yang setia menonton. Aneh memang, betapa kalian senang ditakut-takuti tapi tidak apa karena saya mendapat royalti. Last but not least, Kunti juga ingin berterima kasih dan menunjukkan penghargaan sedalam-dalamnya kepada sesama mahluk alam kubur yang masih suka bergentayangan. Penghargaan ini juga untuk kalian! Sundel Bolong, eat my dust! HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI…”

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